I famously have a tangled memory.
Every once in a while, some event will reveal and unlock a hidden box of memories that I thought I’d lost and my mind becomes tangled in vivid recollection. It's like there are keys scattered in various places, but I have no map and no clues for how to find them. When I stumble upon one, I get completely ambushed by memories and have to write down whatever comes back before I lose them all over again.
There are possible explanations for this but, it’s not important now.
I said in my last post that there was more to talk about, and that things would make perfect and zero sense soon.
So — I decided to spend the last 2 hours of my Niagara Falls visit getting breakfast at this UFO themed diner. I’ve always loved alien stuff and this place was designed to look like a flying saucer. Incredible, I know, had to see it.
When I walked in, there was a silver alien next to an atm machine holding a green alien souvenir cup and it looked just like the green alien bong my older sister had hidden in her closet when I was a kid.
Suddenly, this green alien souvenir cup blasted a beam of trippy memories from 1997 - 2002 at me and I could vividly remember the glow-in-the-dark stars covering the walls of my sisters’ room..
HER PET TARANTULA IN THE CAGE
HER BOOMBOX
THE NORTH STAR UFO ICE CREAM SANDWICH
MY FATHER WORKING AT AREA 51
NIGHTMARES ABOUT PARANORMAL STUFF
FEELING THE PRESENCE OF A SPIRIT FOR THE FIRST TIME
WATCHING THE X-FILES AS A FAMILY…
"The X-Files: The Truth is Out There"
The truth is…out there
The truth is OUT there
At the time, as a 10 year old or something, the X-Files was about uncovering secrets, opening doors you weren't supposed to open, curiosity beyond, an alt connection, a spiritual alternative, possible answers to the coming millennium, a place where my imagination wandered and learned detective skills for the justice I was seeking — and Mulder and Scully — were justice-seeking teaching people.
This show was different than the other programs at the time. Law and Order, COPS and whatever other thing.
It questioned the written law AND the natural law.
IT WAS BEYOND
This was an important show to me then. I didn't fully know it obviously becuz I was 10, and clearly these are fresh thoughts happening here —right now— thoughts possible only in hindsight. But, it uniquely paralleled my spiritual affliction or maybe — it gave me one?
My older sister was listening to techno, going to raves and smoking weed out of the alien bong.
My father was working on some confidential Area 51 thing in the Nevada desert. That’s all we knew and that didn’t help at all.
It felt like the X-Files was going to deliver some deeper truth about life. Something to explain my existential malady, the spirits running around, the millennium, the sky, the desert, the beyond, the underground, my future — stuff like that
BUT NOTHING WAS DELIVERED. NOTHING WAS EXPLAINED.
Lots of people want to believe that the stuff they want to believe in, is believable. Myself included. But, actually believing that something is believable — just because you want to believe it — is something else entirely.
The court told Socrates to stop telling people to question their beliefs or else, he would have to drink the Hemlock.
And Socrates was basically like,
“so you want me and everyone else to just assume our way through life?!”
And they were like,
“ya, we want you to make some assumptions here and there”
Socrates chose the Hemlock.
Today I asked my older sister if she remembered the alien bong and the glow-in-the-dark stars in her room. She told me she had decorated her room in glow-in-the-dark because she was getting visited by spirits in the house and felt safer at night this way.
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