I'm from a place where everyone listens to The Smiths.
Someday I'll write more about how I think this happened but the fact is that everyone from Whittier, California loves The Smiths.
I put The Smiths on when I cant think of something to listen to. Sometimes, this happens in early to late winter when I feel most contemplative and I need something that feels like white noise. background music to think to. Louder than Bombs is a good example of what this experience feels like. It’s aware of itself and matter of fact. unimpressed, bitter, cold, Earl Grey tea, PG Tips, warmly lit rooms. it's not down or sad, or disinterested. the door is cracked and fun is always welcome. this feeling is more right-sized and kind of like a clear signal of insights that just needs some room to be received.
Under this condition, I learned that I've become overwhelmingly obsessed with winter. I've always been a fan of the fall but after spending two winters upstate New York my appetite for the cold, gray, meditative, long nights of winter has grown significantly. Part of it might be because summers now are scary long and totally hellish. The entire season feels like a waiting game and I slowly start to lose my mind.
the days are so bright. I cant see anything. everything blurs. I cant think straight. cant remember anything. outfits die. can't cook, can't figure out how to go outside, nothing fits and everything and everyone stinks. Im getting anxious just thinking about it now so I'll skip to how eventually, it all ends. the fall equinox comes and goes, the temperature drops, and finally the first dusk of daylight savings hits and my eyes dilate.
virgo vision. I made it up. it has almost zero in common with the zodiac signs. I don't do horoscope/astrology.
wood, brick, smoke, moss, dirt, wet asphalt almost everything becomes deeply fragrant and all the colors everywhere are their most vibrant against that first dusk of daylight savings.
so while everyone else feels their seasonal depression kick in, I get intensely activated.
The smell of citrus and earth hit like acid if acid were a body high with more organized euphoric visual hallucinations. And, if the hallucinations were deep adventures in the design, weight, sound, scent, concept of a new book, tape, song, print, video, photo, etc . filling up every corner of my mind. visual adrenaline.buzzing chaotic visual chatter. blitzmode bender.0 to 100 mind party.turbo charged insomnia.it happens!
In 2015 I was on a tour in Japan and I remember arriving to Kyoto and being completely enamored the second I got off the beautiful velvet green train bench.There were persimmon trees everywhere, ancient tea houses, outdoor saunas that blew my mind and the whole place smelled like cedar and firewood. It was the last week of October / first week of November and I remember thinking...this place gets it. I don't even like the taste of persimmons but pretended to love them on that tour.
Recently, I was trying to track down some of these memories when I got dosed with this winter acid. It was a cold fountain stream of mountain water, sweet orange, patchouli, vanilla, chamomile
Kyoto persimmon tree in late fall
being up at sunrise
The Smiths: Stretch Out and Wait, Hand in Glove, Unloveable,
Louder than Bombs cover art
restless nights with a cemetery of neon orange CVS earplugs on my bedside table
bric a brac Troll doll
bright mod faux collar sweater in a painting studio
10 days later when I came to, I had made 10 pounds of soap. each batch meticulously scented.
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